Long nights

The nights that get long are more frequent than I care to have.  Pain is my new bedtime companion.  Along with a husband and dog, it gets alittle crowded.  I almost had going to bed knowing that my sleep with be broken and I awaken.  The night ends early for sleep but not in time.  for anyone who has been up in the wee hours of the morning know how slowly the clock moves.

New days become trials in fighting the tireness of poor sleep.  Soon each day becomes more straining to get through.  The madness is that there will not be enough sleep to relieve the strain.
After a time the mind cries out for a more nomal existance.

But I don't remember what normal is anymore.  I have been battling pain for so many years now that its presence is normal.  Not that means it is acceptable.  Far from it.  It is a source of struggle to get through both day and night.  A constant reminder of what I no longer can do.  It is a trigger for sadness over a slowly shrinking world.

In spite of all of this somewhere within me arises a drive to go on.  To grab whatever joy can be out of life.  To stop and see the beauty of the physical world around as it presents in nature and the laughter of children.  For I know it is enviable that the time with come when the physical world gives way to an after world.

It always amazes me that when I write a post how free my thoughts become.  I am not always sure what direction they will take.  But I know they will reflect my attempts to find balance with all that i wrestle.