rainy day misery

Rainy days are murder for someone like me.  I am one of the "but you don't look sick" group.  I have several chronic ills that make daily activities a challenge.  I live with pain everyday.  I live with stiffness and muscle spasms.  Living with chronic pain and other chronic conditions means you have to adjust your life everyday.  When I get up I start my day by assessing how my body is functioning before I even get out of bed.  That assessment will determine how much I can do that day.

Those of us with chronic pain learn to live with a certain level of pain.  There is not much choice.  If we don't, most likey we would have no life.  Pain is something that you can't run from.  No matter where you go it is there.  You can't just ignore it or it screams louder for yoru attention.  The best thing is to give a soft voice.

Now that you have some idea of what I have as a daily baseline, imagine throwing in some factor that increases my symptoms.  Rainy days are damp and dreary.  For me it means more pain and perhaps some light depressive symptoms.  It can also bring irritablity.  Not fun!

When your mood slips it only make your ills feel worse.  That makes your mood worse. 

I try to find activites that are relaxing and calm me.  I love to read and yoga helps.  Still rainy days can be a struggle.  I try to catch myself when I feel myself spiraling down, but sometimes it is hard to contantly monitar.  Today was one of those days.  I didn't catch myself till I had felt totally irritable with everyone and everything.  I did manage to achieve some peace by this evening. 

I feel bad when I am so cranky.  I know I snap at everyone around me, especially those I love.  It is not fair to them.  Balancing emotions is hard enough when you feel good.  It is really hard to do living with chronic illnesses.  Almost impossible at time when you throw in anything that increases stress, physical discomfort and/or emotions.

Inner peace is a constant balancing act.